Resolving Conflict From the Perspective of Faith

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Resolving Conflict From the Perspective of Faith</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id474.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Embarking on a Journey of Faith"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id483.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dealing With Doubts On The Journey Of Fa"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Sermon</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U><B>Church Ministry</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U>Sermon Notes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>"Resolving Conflict from the Perspective of Faith," </B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Gen+13:1-18" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Genesis 13:1-18</B></U></A></div> <div> <B>Berean Bible Church, September 25-26, 2004</B></div> <bR> <div>      Church people can fight with the best of them, over inconsequential issues, at that! Husbands and wives can set new standards in conflict, when the marriage is supposed to be based on love and mutual benefit! When we are in conflict, we <I>hate</I> to loose, to even <I>let</I> the other person win, regardless of what the issue is, and even if the issue doesn't matter at all. We fight over money, for control, for our preferences.</div> <div>      Stan Mikita, a former professional hockey star with the Chicago Blackhawks, used to get into a lot of fights during games. He stopped when his eight-year-old daughter asked a very grown-up question: "How can you score goals when you're always in the penalty box, Daddy?" (Bits and Pieces, July, 1990, p. 19). We can't focus on that which is useful and positive when we are fighting all the time.</div> <div>      I want to talk about <I>how to deal with conflict from the perspective of faith.</I> Conflict is a part of life, even when you are a follower of Jesus. We can be set apart as Christ-followers, depending on how we deal with conflict. We must be fundamentally different in our approach to conflict. In times of conflict, that is when the pressure is on. You can act kindly when there's no pressure, but when the pressure is on, and your pride and privileges are on the line, can you deal with conflict in a <I>Christian</I> way?</div> <bR> <div> <B>1. We must pursue peace (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Gen+13:1-8" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Genesis 13:1-8</B></U></A><B>).</B></div> <div>      After Abram's failure of faith in Egypt, he returned home and he worshiped God. God was merciful, Abram knew it, and he worshiped God because of it.</div> <div>      Both Abram and Lot had plenty of wealth and lots of livestock. But people were already living in the land God directed Abram to, so the best places were already taken. What was left was not enough for both of them. So it created tension among their families and organizations. </div> <div>      Abram took the initiative to deal with the conflict in an appropriate way. What <I>didn't</I> Abram do that we might normally do when faced with conflict? Notice, he didn't avoid it, run from it, devise a scheme or manipulate the situation, he didn't criticize or complain. He addressed the issue head on, kindly and politely. He also made sure the issues were <I>clear</I>.</div> <div>      People of faith and worship pursue peace. Because we have peace with God (evidenced by our worship), we can pursue peace with others. When things are right with God, we will do what we can do to make sure things are right with others.</div> <bR> <div> <B>2. How: We pursue peace </B><I><B>through</B></I><B> generosity (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Gen+13:9" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Genesis 13:9</B></U></A><B>).</B> </div> <div>      Abram generously offered the choice of the best land to Lot. This was Abram's trip, Lot was along for the ride. What would we typically do? Conventional wisdom says Abram should exercise his control and affirm his rights. But he chooses to be kind and generous, with the result that he got "second-best" (or so it seemed at the time . . .).</div> <div>      God provides our needs and many blessings besides, therefore we do not have to be stingy and selfish with others. We can work toward peace by looking out for the benefits of others, and sometimes sacrificing what benefits us. </div> <div>      Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of <I>selfish ambition</I> or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Conflict is a part of life, but don't let your selfishness be the cause or continuation of conflict. Sometimes it is a personal sacrifice to make peace, but God honors that and will bless you for it. But it takes humility and concern for others - two attitudes that come from the Spirit.</div> <div>      Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not resolve. So they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage's home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, "You're absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, "You're absolutely right." Afterward, the sage's wife scolded her husband. "Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That's impossible-they can't both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You're absolutely right." (David Moore in <I>Vital Speeches of the Day</I>). Is that what God has in mind for us? Not necessarily.</div> <div>      Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Notice this balance. We must deal honestly with the issues, and recognize appropriate boundaries, our own and those of others. In conflict, the answer may not be, "you're absolutely right," or "taken anything you want." You have a right to protect your property lines and possessions from thieves; you have an obligation to defend the truth. Being a person of peace does not necessarily mean letting someone else always have their way, <I>when the issues require a defense of what is right and good and appropriate</I>. But in times of conflict, we must possess a spirit of generosity, and an attitude that seeks out that which benefits the other person.</div> <bR> <div> <B>3. Why: We can pursue peace confidently through generosity, </B><I><B>because</B></I><B> we walk by faith, not sight (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Gen+13:10-18" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Genesis 13:10-18</B></U></A><B>).</B> </div> <div>      Lot looked only at the quality of the land; he didn't see the whole picture (vss. 10-11). He didn't see the <I>moral</I> danger, that would one day destroy his family (vs. 10, 13). He was going with the philosophy, God helps those who help themselves. But he didn't know enough, and he didn't get it right. On the other hand, Abram <I>knew</I> the promise of God. He knew that Lot's land looked better, but he was going to trust God and wait. And God responded with an expansion of the promises (vss. 14-17).</div> <div>      Our perspective is limited and subjective; we don't know everything; we certainly don't know as much as we think we know. We must trust God and follow his principles and values, and wait for him to work it out according to his will. Many times we must simply take God at his word, even though things look different to us.</div> <div>      We can pursue peace confidently, because we know God will provide and bless us, according to his promises, beyond our expectations. </div> <bR> <div> In <I>summary</I>:</div> <div> 1. Address the issues clearly and specifically. Focus on the present <I>issues</I> and not on the past or on personalities. Listen and share honestly.</div> <div> 2. Focus on shared benefits, while putting on a priority on what benefit's of the other. Approach the conflict with a spirit of generosity and kindness.</div> <div> 3. Be confident that God will provide blessing and provision for you, even when you give something up.</div> <bR> <div>      Consider the <I>worship</I> of Abram, at the beginning and end of the account. We must regularly worship, reflect on God's goodness and mercy and generosity towards us. Only then we can share his goodness and blessings with others.</div> <div>      Romans 5:8-10 (NET) says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, because we have now been declared righteous by his blood, we will be saved through him from God's wrath.  For if <B>while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son</B>, how much more, since we have been reconciled, will we be saved by his life?" The reason we can be generous in times of conflict is because of how generous God was and is with us, when we did not deserve it.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Questions for Thought and Discussion:</B></div> <div> 1. Consider some conflicts you are presently involved in. What can you do to stand apart as a believer in Jesus? What actions can you take that will show others you are standing with Christ?</div> <bR> <div> 2. One key to handling conflict is to be sure your attitudes are right. What can you do that help remind you of how generous and kind God is to <I>you</I> (as an example of how kind and generous you are to be with others)? Consider making a list of "moments of grace" you have received in the past week. Try to show that same level of grace to those around you.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2004, Stanley Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>