Respect Among Parents and Children

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Respect Among Parents and Children</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id436.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Holy Spirit and Your Marriage: Expre"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id438.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Discipline: Loving Correction"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Sermon</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U><B>Church Ministry</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U>Sermon Notes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org"><U>stan@stanbaker.org</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>"Respect Among Parents and Children" </B></div> <div> <B>Berean Bible Church, February 22, 2004</B></div> <bR> <div> Things I've Learned From My Children (Honest and No Kidding) - from an anonymous mother:</div> <div> 1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.</div> <div> 2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.</div> <div> 3. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.</div> <div> 4. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.</div> <div> 5. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.</div> <div> 6. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.</div> <div> 7. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.</div> <div> 8. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.</div> <div> 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.</div> <div> 10. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak-it explodes.</div> <div> 11. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-square-foot house 4 inches deep.</div> <div> 12. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.</div> <div> 13. Plastic toys do not like ovens.</div> <div> 14. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.</div> <div> 15. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. [From Grintown (Bible.org, Parenting)].</div> <bR> <div> <I>     </I>This stuff may seem like childish fun, but if your kids are still acting like this when they are older, something went wrong somewhere. Parenting his hard work. There are many sources of information on how to be a good parent. But none is as important as God's word.</div> <div>      In <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Eph+6:1-4" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Ephesians 6:1-4</U></A>, Paul is applying the instruction from 5:21, "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ," which itself is an application or result of being filled or controlled by the Holy Spirit. Notice again that respect and value goes <I>both ways</I> in the relationship between children and parents. We will learn how to raise children in an environment of respect.</div> <bR> <div> <B>I. Ephesians 6:1-3 - Instructions to children.</B></div> <div>      Obey your parents, because it is the right thing to do; it pleases the Lord. Don't wait for them to earn your respect or give you a reason to obey. Obey because it is what God wants of you. Older kids, set a good example for younger kids. Parents, <I>you</I> have to respect authority, if you expect your kids to respect your authority.</div> <div>      Obedience is an expression of honoring your parents. Show high regard for them and their influence, recognize their great value, give them respect or preference. Honoring your parents is a life-long challenge. The time of direct obedience may pass, but honor is forever. This applies to adult children of aging parents. Care for your parents in a way that demonstrates value and respect.</div> <div>      There is a practical and personal benefit of doing the right thing in this area. (See <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Ex+20:12" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Exodus 20:12</U></A> and <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Deut+5:16" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Deut 5:16</U></A>). Notice two motivations: 1) because it is right; 2) because it will also benefit you.  Proverbs 3:1-2 says, "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity." Respecting your parents is the foundation for respecting other authorities and other people. This leads to a better life (the law of consequences). If you want to live well and wisely, start by respecting your parents.</div> <bR> <div> <B>II. Ephesians 6:4 - Instructions to parents.</B></div> <div>      Fathers are the point person in the home in training their children. Do not provoke them to anger. Do not discourage or de-motivate them because of how you treat them (see <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Col+3:21" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Colossians 3:21</U></A>, "lest they lose heart"). Provoking children may happen through unreasonable demands and expectations; shifting standards or inconsistent guidelines or treatment; your selfish behavior; anger expressed regularly in the home; or harsh, anger-filled discipline. Provoking them to anger suggests a lack of respect for them. Instead, they are to be loved and valued as gifts from God and as people created in God's image.</div> <div>      Proverbs 22:6 says,<B> </B>"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Be a <I>positive</I> shaping influence. A child's values and subsequent behavior are shaped when they are very young.</div> <div>      Therefore, parents, bring them up (develop and raise them) in the training and instruction of the Lord. This includes guidance, counsel, direction, discipline, instruction, and correction based on the teaching of the Word of God. You are coaching them to grow up and learn to make good, God-honoring decisions with their lives. Don't plan on making every decision for them for the rest of their lives. Train them to make the right choices on their own, based on the guidance of God's word. Teach them to discover what the Bible says and means, and how it applies to their lives (do you know these things?). Teach them to love God and to love people. Everything else will fall into place. Teach them to be respectful of God, of others and of themselves, to serve, to give, to be honest, to take responsibility for their behavior. Teach young girls what it means to be a godly woman (Britney Spears is probably not your best example in this area). Teach boys what it means to be godly men (Justin Timberlake may not be your best example in this area). Children are not "little adults" who are equipped to make decisions all by themselves. And the world does not revolve around them. There are other people who live here too, whom they must respect. The sooner they learn that, the happier they, you, and the rest of us will be. Teach them to love God and love other people.</div> <div>        If you don't teach your kids to think, don't worry, TV will (even cartoons). Their friends will. Someone else will teach them what and how to think, if you don't. For what it is worth, "In a survey of four- and five-year olds, 33% of them said they'd rather give up their fathers than television." [Reader's Digest, June 1995.] Parents, if you are not careful and proactive, you will lose this battle early on.</div> <div>      Of course, you have to model your expectations! Author Philip Yancey wrote in <I>What's So Amazing About Grace</I>, "I have a friend whose marriage has gone through tumultuous times. One night George passed a breaking point. He pounded the table and the floor. `I hate you!' he screamed at his wife. `I won't take it anymore! I've had enough! I won't go on! I won't let it happen! No! No! No!' Several months later my friend woke up in the middle of the night and heard strange sounds coming from the room where his <B>two-year-old son</B> slept. He padded down the hall, stood for a moment outside his son's door, and shivers ran through his flesh. He could not draw a breath. In a soft voice, the two-year-old was repeating word for word with precise inflection the argument between his mother and father. `I hate you. I won't take it anymore! No! No! No!'" (p. 120). Your attitudes and behavior matter and make a difference in the character and behavior of your children.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2004, Stanley Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>