Kingdom Relationships

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Kingdom Relationships</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id393.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How To Deal With Anxiety"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id395.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Building Life On A Solid Foundation"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Sermon</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U><B>Church Ministry</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U>Sermon Notes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org"><U>stan@stanbaker.org</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>"Kingdom Relationships," Matthew 7:1-12</B></div> <div> <B>Berean Bible Church, July 21, 2003am</B></div> <bR> <div>      Catherine Lemm wrote: "I was heading for work on the freeway one morning when I noticed a car weaving slightly in the next lane. As I pulled even with it, I could see that the driver's face was almost touching the windshield as she used the rearview mirror to apply mascara. Suddenly the car veered in my direction. It scared me so badly I dropped my lipstick right into my cup of coffee!" ("Hypocrisy, Judgment, Accountability").</div> <div>      Our society experiences a paradox - on the one hand, we have the tendency to be critical and judgmental. We may criticize moral judgments or social habits or clothing or education or economic status or ways of talking . . . On the other hand, we spout off, "judge not, lest ye be judged" when someone criticizes us or tells us that something we are doing is wrong.</div> <div>      Jesus' offers advice for life among other flawed, imperfect people (even in the church), much like ourselves.</div> <bR> <div> <B>I. Be an encourager, not a fault-finding critic (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+7:1-6" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Matthew 7:1-6</B></U></A><B>, </B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+7:12" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>12</B></U></A><B>).</B></div> <div> A. What it means to be an encourager instead of a fault-finding critic.</div> <div> D. A. Carson wrote, "Demands for perfection [<A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:48" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>5:48</U></A>] can breed judgmentalism (vv. 1-5), while demands for love can cause chronic shortage of discernment (v. 6)." Jesus offers us a balance in these verses.</div> <div> Vs. 1, The basic principle: avoid hypocritical judgments of others.</div> <div> Vs. 2, The theological reason: condemning someone else's sin out of pride and hypocrisy is to commit sin yourself, for which you will be judged. Those who are humble enough to receive mercy will be humble enough to give mercy (vs. 2, the two choices are mercy or condemnation). Those who understand how much mercy they have been shown will show mercy to others. Humility is at the heart of both <I>receiving</I> and <I>giving</I> mercy. God resists and deals harshly with pride. Read the story of unforgiving servant (<A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+18:21-35" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Matthew 18:21-35</U></A>). The servant was forgiven a debt of millions of dollars and he then went out and violently demanded payment of a debt of a few dollars. If you have been shown mercy, show mercy to others. Jesus paid a debt for us which we could only pay with our lives. Such a gift (forgiveness and eternal life) is worth far more than millions of dollars. Have you accepted God's merciful gift by faith? If so, are you sharing his mercy with others?</div> <div> Vss. 3-5, An illustration: we are hardly <I>objective</I>, about ourselves or about others. We point out the small flaws in others (sawdust) while we conveniently "overlook" the major flaws in us ("planks"). We are blinded to our own shortcomings and sins.</div> <div> Vs. 6, The balance - be discerning. We are to discern between right and wrong, and we are to encourage the right and challenge the wrong (see also vss. 15-16). </div> <div>      Jesus was the perfect balance: John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of <B>grace</B> and <B>truth</B>."</div> <bR> <div> B. How to be an encourager, not a fault-finding critic.</div> <div> 1. Be generous in your assessment of people.</div> <div>      Don't ,make opinionated assumptions about people, as though you are God. John Wesley told of a man he had little respect for because he considered him to be miserly and covetous. One day when this person contributed only a small gift to a worthy charity, Wesley openly criticized him. After the incident, the man went to Wesley privately and told him he had been living on parsnips and water for several weeks. He explained that before his conversion, he had run up many bills. Now, by skimping on everything and buying nothing for himself he was paying off his creditors one by one. "Christ has made me an honest man," he said, "and so with all these debts to pay, I can give only a few offerings above my tithe. I must settle up with my worldly neighbors and show them what the grace of God can do in the heart of a man who was once dishonest." Wesley then apologized to the man and asked his forgiveness.</div> <div>      You are not the judge, God is the judge. Romans 14:10-13 says, "You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written: "'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.'"  So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way."</div> <div> 2. Instead of criticizing, either confront or keep quiet.</div> <div>      When someone commits sin according to the Bible, or they sin against you, either confront them or keep quiet. Telling others but not that person is not an option. Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother." But be forgiving and forbearing - don't make a big deal about everything. Let some things go.</div> <div> 3. Focus on encouraging and building people up.</div> <div>      Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."</div> <div>      Most coaches, parents, and teachers know to use <I>praise</I> and <I>encouragement</I> to motivate kids, not criticism. If you want to help people change their behavior, build them up in love; don't tear them down with criticism.</div> <div> 4. Possess humble authenticity.</div> <div>      This is the opposite of prideful hypocrisy. Galatians 6:1 says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But <I>watch yourself</I>, or you also may be tempted." Romans 12:3 says, "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Be real about yourself, to yourself and to others.</div> <div> 5. Treat others the way you want to be treated (not the way you have been treated; <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+7:12" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>7:12</U></A>).</div> <bR> <div>      Jim Cymbala (of the Brooklyn Tabernacle) wrote in <I>Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire</I>, "About 20 years ago, I said something impromptu to the new members lined up across the front of the church. As we received them, the Holy Spirit prompted me to add, "And now, I charge you that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone-myself, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else-that you stop that person in mid-sentence and say, 'Excuse me-who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let's go to his office right now. He'll apologize to you, and then we'll pray together so God can restore peace to this body. But we won't let you talk critically about people who aren't present to defend themselves.' "I'm serious about this. I want you to help resolve this kind of thing immediately. And know this: If you are ever the one doing the loose talking, we'll confront you." To this day, every time we receive new members, I say much the same thing. That's because I know what most easily destroys churches. It's not crack cocaine, government oppression, or even lack of funds. Rather it's gossip and slander that grieves the Holy Spirit."</div> <bR> <div> <B>II. Pray persistently for God's will to be accomplished through others and you (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+7:7-11" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Matthew 7:7-11</B></U></A><B>).</B></div> <div>      Don't criticize people; pray for them. How does God respond when we pray for his blessing and power to accomplish his work? He responds by empowering us and giving us what is asked.</div> <div>      This, in context, refers to praying based on the values of the kingdom of God, not selfish interests (see 6:33, "seek first the kingdom of God"). James 4:1-3 says, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."</div> <div>      Pray persistently and progressively. Keep on asking, seeking, and knocking. God will respond and accomplish his purposes in your life and in the lives of others.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2003, Stanley Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>