Be (Super-) Natural: Relationships

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Be (Super-) Natural: Relationships</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id388.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be (Super) Natural"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id391.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How to Practice Religion Without Being A"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Sermon</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U><B>Church Ministry</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U>Sermon Notes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org"><U>stan@stanbaker.org</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>"Be (Super-) Natural: Relationships," </B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:31-48" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Matthew 5:31-48</B></U></A></div> <div> <B>Berean Bible Church, June 22, 2003am</B></div> <bR> <div>      "Divorced couples in Albuquerque, New Mexico, can take advantage of a new business in town. The company is called Freedom Rings: Jewelry for the Divorced. Founded by jeweler and divorcee Lynn Peters, the company makes custom jewelry out of wedding rings. Each customer at Freedom Rings pays a fee, and the ring-smashing ceremony begins-complete with champagne and music. Just before the smashing the M.C. says, "We will now release any remaining ties to your past by transforming your ring-which represents the past-into a token of your new beginning. Now take the hammer. Stop for a moment to consider the transformation that is about to begin your new life. Ready? With this swing let freedom ring!" She then uses a four-pound sledgehammer to whack her emblem of love and fidelity into a shapeless piece of metal. And the ceremony ends." (Brian Peterson, New Man, October, 1994). Divorce has become normal in our society.</div> <div>      Statistics suggest that divorce is just as common among professing Christians as it is among the general population in our country. In the realm of relationships, Christians don't act much different than non-Christians. Shouldn't being a Christian give you a better shot at staying married, at avoiding bitter conflict, at having healthy relationships with the people you work with?</div> <div>      Good relationships are not built on the ability to get your own way, or the ability to make people laugh. They are not built upon your ability to cover up the real you. Good relationships are not built on your wealth or possessions or power or beauty.  </div> <div>      All of our relationships are to be redefined by kingdom values. We are to go above and beyond "normal" and "natural" in our dealings with other people.</div> <div>      Last time, we saw that we are called to a higher-than-human standard, beginning in the heart (so we need a new heart). We are called to be like God, especially as demonstrated in the person of Jesus Christ (<A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:48" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Matthew 5:48</U></A>; but note also <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+6:12" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Matthew 6:12</U></A>, "forgive us our sins"). Not only is murder wrong, anger is wrong as well. Not only is adultery wrong, lust is wrong as well. Jesus gets to the heart of the Law. What is in the heart matters.</div> <div> Preview: Being a part of the kingdom of God is going to have a major effect on our relationships. Here are three guidelines to better relationships.</div> <bR> <div> <B>I. Protect your marriage vows (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:31-32" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Matthew 5:31-32</B></U></A><B>).</B></div> <div>      The quality of your marriage and family life affects all other relationships. When we were being told that President Clinton's infidelities in his private life had no affect on his public ability to lead the country, I was asking myself as a citizen, if Bill Clinton could not tell his wife the truth and be true to his vows to her, how could I expect him to tell me the truth, especially if his own best interest was on the line?  Who you are in the home is who you are. Howard Hendricks said, "If your Christianity doesn't work at home, it doesn't work. Don't export it."</div> <div> Here are three ways to protect your marriage vows: </div> <div> A. Be quick to forgive and don't keep score.</div> <div> B. Show love in action, without making deals for love to be returned.</div> <div> C. Make spending time together a priority.</div> <bR> <div> <B>II. Be a person of truth (</B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:33-37" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Matthew 5:33-37</B></U></A><B>; from </B><A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Lev+19:12" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U><B>Leviticus 19:12</B></U></A><B>).</B></div> <div>      The taking of oaths in ancient culture was often designed to be deceptive and manipulative. Some oaths were genuine, other oaths were designed to make the person think you were going to keep your word, when you did not intend to. It was a way of avoiding responsibility. It was like "the fine print" of a contract. The big print says one thing, the fine print says something different that renders the big print null and void. </div> <div>      If you can't be trusted, taking oaths won't help. You cannot have good relationships with people if you cannot be trusted. Let your word be true, whether you are under oath or not. Don't be <I>really truthful</I> when you are under oath and <I>kind of truthful</I> when you are not under oath. Be truthful - always. Keep your commitments, even when it does not benefit you. Be up front if you have to change your agreements with people.</div> <bR> <div> <B>III. Show love to those who are hard to love.</B></div> <div> A. Show love when you are tempted to retaliate (<A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:38-42" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Matthew 5:38-42</U></A>; from <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Ex+21:24" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Exodus 21:24</U></A>).</div> <div>      These examples seem a bit extreme (as were Jesus' actions in going to the cross and suffering for us). Jesus' may be using exaggerated  examples and not absolutes. The basic principle is to respond to evil with love, not with vengeance and not with hatred. </div> <div>      The principle applies (and is often ignored) in mundane circumstances, such as when people gossip about you, offend you in public or private, lie to you, damage your property, fail to meet your expectations, win one over on you, or take advantage of you. Maybe someone in the church experiences a moral failure. We are not to return evil for evil, or to respond to evil against us with more evil against the perpetrator. We are to respond to evil with love.</div> <div>      Yes, we may at times have to defend ourselves. There are some examples of "resistance" in the Bible: In Acts 9, Paul escaped from Damascus (the old "basket down the wall" trick). In Acts 12, Peter escaped from prison, with the help of an angel (without permission). In Acts 23:12-22, Paul learns of an ambush plot to kill him, and he asked for protection. Yes, we lock our homes and our cars and our church building. But do not seek to injure one who hurts you, even while you defend yourself (vs. 39). If someone commits an injustice against you, and there is nothing you can do about it, let it go and respond with love (vs. 40). Err on the side of generosity with those who have needs (vs. 41). Be willing to give in, to give up, and to give away in the name of Christ. So un-American, yet so Christian. Realize that God will settle the accounts someday. </div> <div>      Romans12:17-21 says, "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "<FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY</FONT>," says the Lord. `<FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD</FONT>.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."</div> <div> B. Show love when you are tempted to hate (<A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Matt+5:43-48" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Matthew 5:43-48</U></A>; from <A HREF="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passage=Lev+19:18" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?passag"><U>Leviticus 19:18</U></A>; but "hate your enemy" is not in the OT, it was assumed).</div> <div>      To be "sons of the Father" is to live by the character of the Father (as sons often do to their human fathers). God in his grace withholds from people of faith what they <U>do</U> deserve and gives them what they <U>do not</U> deserve.  Martin Luther King Jr, wrote, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." God loved us enough to suffer on our behalf and in our place, giving us the opportunity to become his friend, to have a relationship with him.</div> <bR> <div>      If we are to love our enemies and outsiders and people who are hard to love, how much more should we love one another in the church? If we don't love one another in the family of God, we cannot possibly love outsiders whom we think are hard to love. In John 13:34-35, Jesus told his disciples, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."</div> <div>      Is there someone you need to settle issues with? Someone you need to forgive? Someone to whom you need to start telling the truth? Someone to whom you need to keep a promise. Someone you need to start sharing love to, because you have had hatred and bitterness in your heart toward them?</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2003, Stanley Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>