Philosophy of Personal Change

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Philosophy of Personal Change</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Small Group Ministry"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id139.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Philosophy of Leadership"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Article</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U>Ministry Studies</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U><B>Sermon Notes</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org"><U>stan@stanbaker.org</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Philosophy of Counseling and Personal Change</B></div> <bR> <div>      In my counseling role as a pastor, I desire that God would work through me to encourage positive change in the lives of those who come to me for counsel. People in my church and the community will at one time or another need assistance with dealing with difficult issues in life and experience. This paper is about growing in effectiveness at seeing positive change come about in people’s lives as a result of my counseling ministry. I believe God can work through well-prepared, loving, encouraging, insightful counselors who can assist others in the process of spiritual growth as it affects all areas of life.</div> <div>      My area of ministry will involve being a pastor in a local church, either senior pastor or working with adult ministries as an associate. Consequently, I would like to conduct my ministry to the church as a whole in a way that encourages people to be proactive in developing their spiritual lives in conjunction with other believers. A counseling ministry will be part of this structure, but I would like to make the church as a whole aware of issues that involve personal life change, such as I might teach a counselee as outlined in this paper.</div> <div>      This paper will first deal with foundational issues, then with methods, then with the church a structure for encouraging spiritual growth and change. It is designed to be a broad look at how I plan to conduct a counseling ministry that results in positive change in people’s lives.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Foundations</I></div> <div>      The relationship between theology and psychology has been an area of debate in my own life. My thinking on the subject concludes at this time that psychology is very helpful in dealing with spiritual problems, but spiritual problems are addressed primarily in the realm of the Bible and theology. Certainly not all personal difficulties and struggles lie in the realm of  sin and related issues. Psychology can be very helpful in providing insight into human behavior, utilizing the observational research into how people act and why. Understanding patterns of behavior can be the insight someone needs to make changes in his life. But psychology is limited in its ability to deal with spiritual problems, especially those that involve sin and rebellion against God. Sin and its consequences have a powerful affect on one’s life and situation. The solution to the sin problem is in Jesus Christ and salvation provided by him through faith in his substitutionary work on the cross. In short, spiritual issues require a supernatural solution. In addition, God has provided spiritual resources which the Christian is able to utilize in personal development and change (2 Pet 1.3), whether it involves a sin issue or not.</div> <div>      However, psychology is a legitimate science in which truth has been discovered which can be very helpful to the process of personal development and change, even for the Christian. For example, some theories of psychology might suggest that “sin” is an outdated notion that only serves to make people feel bad about themselves, and doesn’t help anyone is developing their life. But the Bible teaches that sin is a reality which <I>should</I> make people feel bad about themselves (conviction) and help motivate them to turn to Christ for salvation. Psychology has provided many conclusions which do not seem to be compatible with what the Bible teaches about humankind and the personal growth of humans. As with any science, a lot of discoveries exist in the realm of theory. This is part of the limitation of psychology. In the areas where our understanding of the Bible conflicts with the discoveries of psychology, we should follow the Bible. At the same time, we must recognize that many conclusions from the interpretation of the Bible are tentative. Some things that the Bible teaches are crystal clear, other things are more open to debate. While the Bible contains truth, my understanding of it is limited in many ways. This is illustrated in the fact that capable, honest Bible scholars disagree about the claims of the Bible in many places. While recognizing this limitation, I must have a good understanding of the basic teachings of the Bible, which will provide a sound grid for evaluating the many theories of psychology.</div> <div>      The element that should motivate the believer to change in his or her personal life is the love and grace of Jesus Christ. When a person recognizes the need for change in his behavior or thinking, he should be motivated by a desire to please Christ who loves him and was gracious in saving him through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Change in not motivated by a desire to earn the favor of Christ. It is instead motivated by the favor Christ has already shown in salvation (John 14.15, 21, 2 Cor 5.14-15). Personal change and development is in part an expression of thankfulness because of the deliverance from sin Christ has provided.</div> <div>      One area that does not serve as a good motivation for change is having a need to please other people. Some people are so consumed with a desire to be loved and approved by others that they do not take the time or energy to please the God who saved them (Gal 1.10). The fear of rejection is a pervasive problem in society, even in the church. Rather than stepping out in faith and confidence in pleasing the Lord and doing his will, someone may seek to conform to and fit in with what they perceive others expect of them, continually basing their sense of self-worth on their perception of what others think. This is not a good basis for personal development and change.</div> <div>      A person must choose to make appropriate changes in his life. While I can help provide incentive and motivation to a degree, if lasting change is going to occur in a person’s life, it will be because of their own sense of a need to change for the glory of God. I cannot be a substitute for the motivational and transformational power of the Holy Spirit at work in his life.</div> <div>      I recognize that I may at many times counsel unbelievers. In such cases, as a pastor I must share with them and show them the love of Christ, which is the solution to the problem of sin. However, even if they do not trust Christ, I can share with them appropriate principles and guidelines based on the scriptures that will help them in their own development. However, I must recognize and communicate with them that an eternal solution is found only through faith in Christ (2 Cor 5.17).</div> <bR> <div> <I>Methods and Application</I></div> <div>      I have discussed foundational issues regarding the roles and limits of theology and psychology, as well as motivation for change. The rest of the paper will deal with specific methods for facilitating change in those who choose the path of personal growth.</div> <div>      One very useful area for facilitating change is in getting the counselee to think biblically, to adjust his thinking to how the Bible demands that he think. The person can develop his own “planned biblical response” (Chaplain Bill Bryan) to his various areas of struggle and temptation in life. This involves a study of what the Bible says about various areas of struggle and temptation, and constructing a plan for dealing with that struggle when temptation arises.</div> <div>      For example, the issue of how one views himself is an area of tremendous impact on the rest of his life. The Bible speaks of those who think more highly of themselves than they ought to think (evidenced in pride). But the Bible also has a message for those who fail to recognize and live in the fact that God loves them enough to give up his own Son for them; the God who created them finds value in them as a person, and has offered them salvation. A healthy response to both boastful pride and a poor understanding of personal value before God is to view oneself as he is viewed by God: created and valuable, but in desperate need of a Savior. One could study what the Bible says about how he should view himself. He then can list specific things that he can reflect on when he is tempted either to feel boastful pride or a lack of any esteem at all. Rom 12.3 and 6 are both instructive in this regard. We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought, yet we each have different spiritual gifts that allow us to contribute to the body of Christ. The one given to pride could recall that we are given no guarantees about having a tomorrow to do business (James 4.13-17), that his very existence is at the mercy of God. The one given to the tendency to have a low self-concept or esteem should have in his mind the biblical idea that God values them as a person, that he is made in the image of God (Gen 1.26-28, Psa 139); he should also be ready to recall that Jesus loves him as a child of God (John 15.9). Both should recognize the lack of good sense that comparisons with others displays (2 Cor 10.12)</div> <div>      Scripture memory is also valuable because what we think about has tremendous power to affect our behavior, even our emotions. To that end, memorizing and meditating on Scripture feeds the mind with true and positive thoughts that serve to encourage and challenge. On the other hand, feeding on lies from the devil or from the culture that surrounds us affects a person in negative ways. Philippians 4.8-9 tells us to think about such things that are true, honorable, just, and pure. Because what we think about has a powerful affect on what we do, this verse counsels us to think about the right things, especially those things that the Scriptures declare to be true and valuable. Memory of and meditation on the truths of Scripture can be a great encouragement to personal growth and change. To memorize and meditate on the scriptures is best done in the context of a structured Bible study plan, where the individual is inductively discovering the basic messages of various books of the Bible.</div> <div>      In addition to filling his mind with the word of God, a counselee should seek his own personal development through reading and learning. He should be proactive in his own personal development even before various crises of life arise. One may be better able to handle the difficulties of life if he has been actively challenging his mind and behavior in personal growth. A myriad of books and programs for self-directed personal development exist. While these are no substitute for Bible learning and application, they can be a helpful tool to utilize for greater personal growth and adjustment capabilities.</div> <div>      Another area of benefit to someone who desires to make personal changes in his life and behavior is the insights that psychological research has provided. One of the benefits of research is the insight it provides into common human patterns of behavior. Through research, basic tendencies of human nature and certain types of personalities can be discerned. By understanding these tendencies, a person is armed with a tool that can be used to guard against such behavior. Knowing the tendencies may provide clues as to what the person can do to counteract those tendencies and their effects on him. The harmful tendencies can be replaced by helpful, constructive actions. But having an awareness of those tendencies is the first step. This is where the various personality tests and tools can be helpful, even those that are general in nature. Such discovery of one’s personality type through insight discerned through research studies can be very beneficial. In addition to providing insight into human patterns of behavior, research may have also identified specific ways of dealing with negative patterns of behavior.</div> <div>      Vital to effective personal change on the part of the counselee is a sense of genuine hope. I must encourage the person with realistic hope based on the scriptures and on the power of God. One basis for hope is the God-given resources that person has (2 Pet 1.3). He may be gifted by God in a particular way, a gift or ability which he can utilize in the overcoming of his frustrating pattern of behavior. People need hope in order to make lasting effective change in their lives, and that hope ultimately comes from God and his power at work in their life. As a counselor, I need to be a tool of God to encourage that person to trust in God’s power to enable him to lead a growing, obedient Christian life.</div> <div>      A part of hope for the counselee is the recognition of the forgiveness to be found in Jesus Christ. Christ does not stand to condemn those who trust in him for salvation; he gives genuine forgiveness because of his death on behalf of the sinner. But the next step is for the person who feels guilty and inadequate to accept and claim the forgiveness in Christ as his own (1 Jn 1.9). Many people live in a constant state of feeling condemned by God, yet God has already graciously forgiven them. While the language of “forgiving yourself” does not occur in the Scriptures, the concept of accepting and living in the forgiveness of God is clear (Jn 8.11).</div> <div>      The counselee must be encouraged to proceed through life with a proper concern for living wisely and making good decisions. In the same way that one must be on his guard while he is driving his car, so he must live in such a way that he is careful and watchful when sinful and harmful temptations come along. Poor decisions can be made in an instant, but they can have a lifetime of devastating consequences (Eph 5.15). The person needs to be encouraged to develop a lifestyle of self-discipline in every area of his life. Exercising self-discipline in areas of life where he may stronger (e.g., his work ethic) may help provide the confidence and the structure to grow in discipline in areas where he may be weaker (e.g., lust; as he is more disciplined in his work, his mind may not wander into areas of lust).</div> <div>      My own personal life is important to effectiveness in helping others make the changes they need to make to be more effective in life. I must continue to maintain my own spiritual development and psychological health. I must accept responsibility for becoming more and more like Christ each day. In this way, I am most able to rely on the power of God; I am also able to provide something of an example to those who need to see God at work, leading someone along to greater spiritual maturity. As I with the encouragement of others challenge my own struggles and difficulties with temptation, I can provide counsel which is based on the Bible, but lived out and applied in my own experience. If I struggle with lacking self-discipline, but I develop my own plan to overcoming laziness based on the Scriptures, I can counsel others on working through their own areas of struggle with temptation.</div> <div>      In counseling women, I must be ever careful to not cross lines into inappropriate thoughts, words, or behavior, which could easily lead to an inappropriate relationship, both emotionally and sexually. Safeguards in place could include limiting the number of times I counsel an individual woman, instead referring her to another counselor who deals with women’s issues. If I find myself crossing emotional and mental lines, I must immediately refer the woman counselee to someone else. I must also maintain a healthy and growing relationship with my own wife.</div> <div>      My personal demeanor with a counselee will affect how they respond and what they are able to get out of our time together. Actively and concretely demonstrating Christ’s love and acceptance to the counselee can be a motivating factor in their desire to change. My role is to encourage them to grow in confidence, seeing the grace of God at work in their own life, which challenges them to move forward in relationship with and obedience to him. Whether or not I take an active interest in them as a person will affect how they see and experience the grace of God.</div> <div>      Developing a caring relationship with the counselee and showing them the love of Christ is the first of several steps I can take in meeting with a counselee (these steps are suggested by Wayne Mack in <I>Introduction to Biblical Counseling</I>). Second, I must gather good information as to the nature of problems the counselee is facing. Third, I must help the counselee get a sense of God’s perspective on the issues he is dealing with, based on the scriptures. Fourth, I must help the counselee see what steps they need to take, in accordance with the scriptures and informed by the insights of psychological research. Fifth, I must lead the counselee in making a commitment to personal change through the power of God. Finally, I must encourage and support the counselee in implementing the change in their life over a period of time. In this regard, Minirth (et al, <I>Introduction to Psychology and Counseling</I>) outlines a helpful plan for changing behavior through gathering data about exactly what is happening, developing a plan of action with reinforcers, evaluating the project, and gradually ending the project but carrying on with the change.</div> <div>      For example, if a person is struggling with laziness, it might be useful for him to begin to document his habits by noting specifically the times, length of time, and circumstances of when he is lazy. Some precipitating conditions may be exposed that can be dealt with (e.g., he is more lazy when he has not had enough sleep). Next he will want to make a specific plan of action to make the change from being lazy to being more personally disciplined. This would include specific goals of when he wants to get work done, and how much work he should get done during those times. His plan should include reinforcers, such as legitimate time off for relaxation (which is not a waste of time). This plan should be specific and written. He should engage in accountability with someone who can encourage him to succeed with his plan. He may develop a study of laziness and its effects from the Scriptures (e.g., the field of the lazy man in Prov 24.30-34). He and his accountability partner should review his progress, and begin to work on plan to terminate the project with the lasting change of hard work in place.</div> <div>      Personal consequences of negative behavior are a part of life. As such, negative consequences can also be a tool of learning. It is counterproductive to shield and protect a counselee from many of the consequences of his poor behavior. If I am able to limit and eradicate the consequences the counselee will face, I limit him from experiencing a good but challenging opportunity for learning and change.</div> <bR> <div> <I>The Role of the Church in Personal Change</I></div> <div>      The church must a place where sinful people can experience grace. Those who are having personal difficulty with temptation most likely are already well-aware of their own need to change. They do not need several encounters with people which are conducted in a spirit of judgment and condemnation; they already feel condemned. People are not motivated by condemnation and judgment to make lasting change. Instead, people can make lasting change behind a motivation of love, encouragement, and grace. God can do the work of conviction of sin; the church should be in the business of encouraging people to follow through on the work which God is doing in their lives (Phil 1.6). Of course such encouragement needs to be balanced with biblical, loving exhortation to those who need direct confrontation (1 Thess 5.14).</div> <div>      In encouraging change among the people in the church, I must seek biblical change as a goal for my preaching (though this is hard to measure). The educational ministry of the church should be focused on allowing people to encounter the word of God and its application to their own lives by the Holy Spirit, allowing them to progressively grow spiritually in Christ. Sermons must deal with practical problems confronting people, demonstrating from the Scriptures specific actions people can take in dealing with those problems. This type of preaching must be based squarely on the word of God with proper exegesis and theological understanding. Psychological insights, while helpful, are no substitute for an serious look at what the Bible has to say about human problems anc challenges. At the same time, such insights should be pointed out where they are applicable to the situation.</div> <div>      Another thing that is vital is the strengthening of marriages and families in the church. This can take the role of preventative maintenance, dealing with struggles and problems before they become a crisis. Doing this effectively means consistent personal interaction with families, so that I can have an understanding of the general patterns of how families function in my ministry context. Special church events can be planned that will serve to be an encouragement to couples and families, particularly dealing with issues of how to communicate effectively. Couples that have been married for many years who have successfully handled their struggles can mentor younger couples who are engaged or newly married, or those who have not maximized the potential of their marriage.</div> <div>      Small groups can be an effective tool that the church uses to encourage deep personal relationships in the church, relationships that can be life-changing. Small groups in the church can fill several relational roles in motivating and bringing about change in people’s lives. Small groups can be a place for people to have accountability with one another. They can also be a place where spiritual encouragement is given and hope is imparted, and where growing believers can learn from spiritual mentors. There will no doubt be a need for support groups, led by competent ministry personnel, which can serve various groups of people who are having common struggles.</div> <div>      For the sake of the overall ministry of the church, I need to limit in some way the counseling appointments I have, including the number of sessions that I have with one client. Also, I need to be ever aware of my limitations as a pastoral counselor, being wise enough to refer a counselee when the situation calls for it (due to my lack of training and experience in certain areas).</div> <div>      The bottom line is that the Spirit of God works in the lives of people. He can reveal what needs to be changed and how to go about the change by relying on the Spirit’s power. As a person begins to walk with Christ in the very details of his life, the power of God’s relationship with him can begin to benefit him by giving him motivation, hope, and enablement to change, becoming conformed to the example of Jesus Christ (Col 3.10). The power of real, lasting change comes through the Spirit’s regeneration, as he has made a person brand-new from the inside out (Tit 3.3-8).</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2000, Stan Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>