Setting the Record Straight on Marriage

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#333366" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Setting the Record Straight on Marriage</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=165 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="132" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 35 ><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id258.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Growing Up: Why and How to Change"><U><B><IMG SRC="007151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id260.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How To Be Focused For Spiritual Growth"><U><B><IMG SRC="008151d0.gif" border=0 width="21" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="20"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="35" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="20" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="13"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="27"></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> Previous/Next Sermon</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="www.stanbaker.org"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biblical and Theological Studies"><U><B>Biblical and Theological Studies</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Church Ministry"><U><B>Church Ministry</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sermon Notes"><U>Sermon Notes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Personal"><U><B>Personal</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:stan@stanbaker.org"><U>stan@stanbaker.org</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>1 Corinthians 7:1-16, “Setting the Record Straight on Marriage” Berean Bible Church, March 3, 2002am</B></div> <bR> <div> <I>     </I>Steve and Helen were Christians. They sang in the choir, they were at Sunday School every Sunday, they had prayer at every meal, they went to all the church functions. They were the picture of faithfulness and spiritual activity. But they could not get along. At home, it was terrible: bickering, complaining, fussing. After both of them had devotions one morning, separately, of course, Helen said to Steve, “You know, Steve, I’ve been thinking. I got the answer to this hopeless problem we’re living with. I think we should pray for the Lord to take one of us home to be with Him. An then, Steve, I could go live with my sister.” (Adapted from Bruce Larson.)</div> <div> <I>     </I>Being a mature Christian demands working toward a healthy home life (for marrieds, divorced, widows, single). A grown-up church is made up of grown-up families or singles. “If your Christianity doesn’t work at home, it doesn’t work. Don’t export it” (Howard Hendricks). </div> <div> <I>     </I>How can we have a healthy home life that is a reflection of our spiritual growth?</div> <bR> <div> <B>I. Advice to the married and widowed:</B></div> <div> <I>     </I>Celibacy was advocated greater for spiritual effect (vs. 1, NIV footnote). It was a legalism that said, “The really spiritual people don’t need sex,” or, “If you really want to grow in Christ, you have to give up sex altogether.” Remember this is in the context of what Paul says about sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. In 1 Corinthians 6:12, one group in the church was saying that sexual immorality was OK. Paul said sexual immorality is wrong, but sexuality is appropriate in the context of marriage. In chapter 7, he says that celibacy is not the answer, as others were advocating.</div> <div>      These verses contain four questions that are answered by Paul.</div> <div> A.7:1-7 –  <U>“For the sake of spiritual growth, should I avoid sexual activity even though I am married?” No.</U> Spouses must fulfill their duties to one another. Temptation was prevalent (6:12-20) – they were not helping the situation by avoiding sex of the sake of spiritual growth. Appropriate sexual activity in marriage does not hinder spiritual growth.</div> <div> B. 7:8-9 – “<U>For the sake of my spiritual growth, as a widowed person should I avoid remarriage?” No.</U> It is appropriate for the widowed to remarry. If they do not have the gift of singleness and they desire to remarry, that is fine – their spiritual life will not be hindered by remarriage.</div> <div> C. 7:10-11 – <U>“For the sake of my spiritual growth, should I achieve celibacy by separating from my spouse?” No.</U> Christians should not divorce their Christian spouse. Divorce may have been regarded by the legalists as appropriate in order to live in celibacy for the sake of your spiritual life!</div> <div> D. 7:12-16 – <U>“For the sake of my spiritual growth, should I leave my unbelieving spouse?” No.</U> Instead, you can provide a good influence for the gospel (the meaning of “sanctify” or set apart). Christians should not divorce their unbelieving spouse, but can freely allow their spouse to leave if they wish.</div> <bR> <div> <B>II. Two Applications</B></div> <div> A. <U>Seek to fulfill your mate’s emotional and sexual needs (vss. 1-7)</U>.</div> <div>      The sexual relationship is the natural outgrowth of the whole relationship you share (consider the book “Sex Begins in the Kitchen,” by Kevin Leman). Take care of your spouse’s emotional needs. Show affection and appreciation for your spouse. Your relationship and your sex life will improve. Be aware that a failure to meet the emotional and / or sexual needs of your spouse may leave them open to temptation. Keep in mind that different sex drives on the part of the husband and wife call for flexibility on the part of both partners.</div> <div> B. <U>Take responsibility for the quality and continuation of your marriage relationship (vss. 10-16)</U>.</div> <div>      Marriage only works in the context of commitment. Vows are not “until you no longer feel like it.” Marriage never works when one partner says, “I’m committed to you as long as I feel like it.” Love is a choice, not a feeling.</div> <bR> <div>      Every married couple is tempted to quit at times. But God’s design for marriage is that it is a great committed relationship, including great sex, and that it lasts a lifetime. That is possible for any couple that is willing to work at it. Hang in there and make it the best that it can be. Put your spiritual growth to work in your home with your family.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> copyright, 2002, Stanley Baker</div> <div> www.stanbaker.org</div> </td> </tr></table></body>